This post is dedicated to all my single ladies. As you probably already know by the title of this article, I am going through a breakup. It’s been almost two months since I broke up with my boyfriend but I have received the most amazing support by my family and friends. Breakups are tough and they suck. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Being alone again after 4 years of relationship is like starting to walk again. It is painful but you can embrace your single status by enjoying your time alone. I have taken the time to cope with the breakup and have discovered several things that have given me the strength to move on. Some people may take months and others just days. For me, it feels it’s going to last a year. It does not matter how long ago you were dating your man, all breakups need time and healing. I want to share with you some simple tips and coping strategies you can implement on your daily basis. Being single does not mean you are a failure. You can embrace your single status in many ways, but before, you need some healing and caring to do.
- I attended a woman’s conference two weeks after my breakup. It was a great way to initiate the process of healing. If you are a Christian or have any spiritual practice, I recommend you attend conferences. I attended “I am Her” conference at Trinity Church and had the time of my life. The speaker talked about how to be strong and how to embrace value as a woman of God. Attend church, read devotionals or anything that can help you grow spiritually. Community support is the most important step to begin the healing process. This is the time to finding out who you really are. Reading the word of God helps to resolve our inner conflicts and insecurities. Here is a devotional I am currently reading.
- Pursue your passions. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do but never did because you were attached to someone? I was. Now is the time to make new plans and dreams. If you want to travel more or sign up for that new workout class, now is the time. Once you find what you love to do you will instantly feel happy. Prepare a vision board with quotes and images related to your goal. Read my article on how to Vision Boarding 101.
- Love yourself first. Book that massage, start reading that book or start that new hobby you’ve always wanted to do. Love begins the minute we start taking care of our own needs. Many times we forget to love ourselves and put someone’s else needs first. Make a list of things that help you boost your own happiness. Personally, I enjoy raising my glam vibration by doing a manicure/pedicure, blowout, or makeup.
- Go watch a chick flick. Movies always are a good method to cure the blues. I recently watched the comedy “How To Be Single” and it was hilarious. The movie was packed with positive messages and funny moments.
- Color your pain away with a coloring book. Lit a candle or incense and put soothing music in Pandora. Coloring books are the trend right now, and we know how hard it is adulting these days. I found this amazing coloring book in the airport on my way back to Miami. Coloring is an art therapy recommended by many therapists and it can quiet your mind, calm your thoughts, and allow you to simply be. I use my Prisma Colors to give life to my coloring book. Coloring provides relaxation and reduces stress. This is the time to put new colors into your life.
- Call your friends and organize that fancy brunch. There’s nothing that a plate of waffles and mimosas can’t fix.
- Do a funeral and bury the past. Take the stinky stuff out of your life and put behind your mistakes. Write down your feelings about your recent breakup and bury it in the trash. This is a good healing activity you can do when you are depressed and feel lonely.
- Seek professional help if needed. Sometimes we need the guidance of a counselor or someone who can help us cope with our feelings. Talking about our emotions with a professional helps us identify unhealthy thought patterns.
This is the time to make a commitment with yourself. Being alone when all your friends are engaged and married can be difficult, but with a little bit of effort you can get out of the pit and rise again. Practice these simple tips and let me know which one made you feel better. Xo.